Can’t quite put my finger on the reason why I stopped writing here. I suppose it was really a combination of many things, not least the fact that for the longest time I just felt plain fed up of thinking up ‘clever’ witty things to say. This blog had become somewhat like a thorn in my flesh – at some point I told people I was just going to get rid of it forever or at least take it off the net even if I don’t delete the blogposts. Yet at the same time it’d become my comfort zone, deleting it would be like throwing away an old blanket or my favourite (grubby) pair of gloves. And at the same time, too, I didn’t want to leave it dormant for so long. Having a blog can be tiresome that way.

But what do you know? -here I am writing again. Because I am bored and jobless at work, for lack of a better reason.

Since I’m still struggling to recover from this prolonged writer’s block, a quick update will do: I’m now back in Malaysia, interning with Accenture but based in ACNielsen in PJ, whiling away the hours til my conscience deems it “okay” to leave the office. We watched Transformers yesterday, me, Eng and Jin. It was good fun, because/in spite of the fact that there was sooo much profligate destruction! Oh and last Sunday we saw Vacancy, you know, that thriller starring Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson. I actually screamed twice in the cinema, can you believe that? After all the training I’d gotten watching Korean/Japanese/HK ‘horror’ flicks with Barathy and Justine, you’d think I’d be able to take a few scares but nooo… Apparently I was squeezing Eng’s hand so much the blood couldn’t circulate properly, haha. But anyhoo. Tomorrow I will be going back to Bentong for the weekend, I foresee more couch potato (in)activity. Channel 76 here I coooooome!

Following-up from my earlier post, here’s an original scene that was subsequently deleted, it sorta gives it a proper (if not happy) ending and answers some questions, but I think the film is just as lovely without this scene. Leaves more to your imagination. (=

It is a restless moment.
She has kept her head lowered,
to give him a chance to come closer.
But he could not, for lack of courage.
She turns and walks away.

That era has passed.
Nothing that belonged to it exists any more.

He remembers those vanished years.
As though looking through a dusty window pane,
the past is something he could see, but not touch.
And everything he sees is blurred and indistinct.

-translated from Chinese from Wong Kar-Wai’s ‘In The Mood For Love’

I am still reeling from the sheer beauty and exquisiteness of the film… Has anyone seen ‘In The Mood For Love’? I mean, really really sat down and watched it and paid full attention? It’s my third time watching it, I think.. and with each new time I watch it, I get struck by something new that I didn’t quite catch before- the raindrops falling off the zinc roofs, the thing with the slippers, the thing with the mustard, the lipstick on Chow’s cigarette, the hesitant pauses, the way Chow’s friend’s character made such a stark contrast with his own character,the camera’s remarkable eye at catching both relevant and irrelevant details, the Chinese song ‘In Full Bloom’ that played on the radio, a really simple yet significant line in the script “We won’t be like them”… I really admire Wong Kar-Wai for attempting to approach the subject of love and passion in such a new and unique way (and pulling it off ever so beautifully!), unlike the indulgent/lustful/impulsive/sometimes irresponsible way that Hollywood so often portrays it to be.

Most of all, I admire the movie for the message it spoke to me personally of honor, loyalty, boundaries… GO WATCH if u haven’t already (for the sake of the gorgeous cheongsams, if nothing else)!! (=

N/B= To those who have already watched it, I have a question: What was the missing thing that Tony Leung’s character was looking for in his room? And to be honest, I didn’t really get the slippers thing either…. *blush*

I have just finished watching City of Angels for the first time. Not sure what made me want to watch it all of a sudden but it’s probably got something to do with that discussion we had at Guan’s place on Friday night. I believe in the existence of angels, of course, though I do not agree with everything the movie had to say about angels. But what this movie made me think about was the gift of Free Will, which also sort of tied in with another separate discussion I had with Chuan and Heidir the other night after dinner (it was great, guys! Both the chat and the dinner!). In making decisions as a Christian, during certain times of despair and deep confusion the thought has once or twice crossed my mind – why do I put myself through so much trouble? Why am I making things harder for myself? When it could be so much easier, and less painful.. But at the end of the day, the peace I get from taking the harder, less travelled path made it all worth it.

“Everything is permissible- but not everything is beneficial“. 1 Corinthians 10:23

St. Patrick’s Day
- John Mayer

Here comes the cold
Break out the winter clothes
And find a love to call your own
You – enter you
Your cheeks a shade of pink
And the rest of you in powder blue

Who knows what will be
But I’ll make you this guarantee

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it’s obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time

In the dark, on the phone
You tell me the names of your brothers
And your favourite colours
I’m learning you
And when it snows again
We’ll take a walk outside
And search the sky
Like children do
I’ll say to you

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it’s obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
And come January we’re frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won’t you be my valentine?

And we’ll both be safe ’til St. Patrick’s Day

We should take a ride tonight around the town
And look around at all the beautiful houses
Something in the way the blue lights on a black night
Can make you feel more
Everybody, it seems to me, just wants to be
Just like you and me

No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
Come January we’re frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won’t you be my valentine

And if our always is all that we gave
And we someday take that away
I’ll be alright if it was just ’til St. Patrick’s Day
___________________________

Listening to this song gives me the cruising-down-the-Ampang-KL-elevated-highway-at-night-overlooking-the-KL-skyline
-all-warm-and-cosy-in-a-nonexistent-boyfriend’s-car vibes… not sure if you get what I mean. Lol.

What a lazy and blissfully laid-back holiday it has been so far – just the way I like it best. (= Am one-thirds through Ian McEwan’s Atonement, been to Blyth centre twice, and have watched three movies – The Wizard of Oz, Serendipity and Sleepless in Seattle. I found the latter two movies quite similar in essence – you know, the whole destiny/soulmate/following your heart and seizing opportunities in love thing. Somehow Sleepless in Seattle wasn’t quite as engaging and moving the second time watching it as compared to the first time I saw it (which was quite a number of years ago). I suppose age, experience and perhaps a tinge of cynicism? – have something to do with it. How can two people who’ve never spoken a word beyond ‘Hello’ to each other, possibly fall in love without even so much as knowing each other’s names? Though these movies are undoubtedly heartwarming, I feel they kind of dilute the meaning of love – giving the illusion that love is all magic and sparks; that given the right time and place, by some incomprehensible cosmic arrangement of things everything will just fall into place and hey presto! – the perfect romance. When in fact, isn’t love really more than just a feeling? Correct me if I’m wrong (being the noob that I am at these things..) but love is a decision and a commitment you make, no? I am a self-confessed sucker for these kind of feel-good romance movies and though I think I’ve got my feet firmly planted to the ground and have enough good sense in me (well, I OUGHT to be, after all…), at times I fear that these misrepresentations of love may somehow get carved into my subconscious… *gulp*

But oh, what the heck… I’m not going to let that stop me from grabbing a roll of (toilet) tissue and watching When Harry Met Sally, now am I? *chuckles*

P/S= The toilet tissue is for me to blow my mucous-infested nose into as I’m catching a cold, and not to cry into. A-TISHOO!!!!!! Bless me. (=

My favourite lines from the movie:

Miss Gulch: Mr. Gale, I want to see you and your wife right away about Dorothy.
Uncle Henry: Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?
Miss Gulch: What she’s done? I’m all but lame from the bite on my leg!
Uncle Henry: You mean she bit you?
Miss Gulch: No, her dog!
Uncle Henry: Oh, she bit her dog, eh?
Miss Gulch: No!
______________

(When Dorothy asks the Scarecrow to make up his mind which way she should go)
Scarecrow: That’s the trouble. I can’t make up my mind. I haven’t got a brain. Only straw.
Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven’t got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don’t know. Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don’t they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you’re right.
______________

(“If I Only Had A Brain”)
(Scarecrow)
I could wile away the hours, Conferrin’ with the flowers
Consultin’ with the rain, And my head I’d be scratchin’,
While my thoughts were busy hatchin’, If I only had a brain

I’d unravel any riddle, For any individ’le
In trouble or in pain…

(Dorothy)
WIth the thoughts you’ll be thinking
you could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain

(Scarecrow)
Oh, I would tell you why, The ocean’s near the shore
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I’d sit and think some more

I would not be just a nuffin’, My head all full of stuffin’
My heart all full of pain, I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry, If I only had a brain

(Tin Man)
When a man’s an empty kettle, He should be on his mettle
And yet I’m torn apart. Just because I’m presumin’
That I could be kind of human. If I only had a heart

I’d be tender, I’d be gentle, And awful sentimental
Regarding love and art, I’d be friends with the sparrows
And the boy that shoots the arrows, If I only had a heart…

Picture me – a balcony. Above a voice sings low.
Wherefore art thou, O Romeo? I hear a beat…
How sweet.
Just to register emotion, jealousy – devotion
And really feel the part.
I could stay young and chipper
and I’d lock it with a zipper,
If I only had a heart.
____________

Lion (sobbing): You’re right. I am a coward. I haven’t any courage at all. I even scare myself. Look at the circles under my eyes. I haven’t slept in weeks.
Tin Woodsman: Why don’t you try counting sheep?
Lion: That doesn’t do any good. I’m afraid of ‘em.

(Lion)
Yeh, it’s sad, believe me, Missy,
When you’re born to be a sissy
Without the vim and verve.
But I could show my prowess
Be a lion, not a mowess
If I only had the nerve
I’m afraid there’s no denyin’.
I’m just a dandy-lion.
A fate I don’t deserve.
I’d be brave as a blizzard…
(Tin Man)
I’d be gentle as a lizard…
(Scarecrow)
I’d be clever as a gizzard…
(All)
If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve.
Then I’m sure to get a brain
A heart
A home
The nerve!
_________________

(Dorothy and her three friends on the Yellow Brick Road)
We’re off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
You’ll find he is a Whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was,
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does
We’re off the see the wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
__________________

Dorothy: If you were king, you wouldn’t be afraid of anything?
Lion: Not nobody, not no how.
Tin Woodsman: Not even a rhinoceros.
Lion: Imp-oceros.
Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?
Lion: Why I’d thrash him from top to bottom-us.
Dorothy: Supposin’ you met an elephant.
Lion: I’d knot him up in cellophant.
Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?
Lion: I’d show him who’s King of the Forest.
Group: How?
Lion: How? Courage! What makes a King out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the Sphinx the Seventh Wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the ape in ape-ricot? What have they got that I ain’t got?
Group: Courage.
Lion: You can say that again. Huh?
___________________

Wizard of Oz: As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
Tin Woodsman: But I still want one.
___________________

(Wizard of Oz, to the Tin Man)
And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.
___________________

(Dorothy, in response to Glinda the Good Witch of the North’s question as to what she has learnt)
Well, I-I think that it, that it wasn’t enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em, and it’s that if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard because, if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with. Is that right?
___________________

(Tin Man, to Dorothy, as she prepares to leave Oz)
Tin Woodsman: Now I know I have a heart, because it’s breaking
___________________

(Dorothy, back home in Kansas)
Oh, but anyway, Toto, we’re home! (She hugs her dog.) Home! And this is my room – and you’re all here! And I’m not gonna leave here ever, ever again because I love you all! – And oh, Auntie Em, there’s no place like home.

Download and watch tonnes of movies. Gone With The Wind. The Wizard of Oz. You’ve Got Mail. Love Actually. Kill Bill. Kill Bill 2. When Harry Met Sally. Sleepless In Seattle. Oh and of course, Narnia and Memoirs of a Geisha in the cinema. (=

Memorise all my Jamie Cullum lyrics for his next London gig… muahahaha… (As a side note: I now have three editions of Twentysomething – the UK release, the Australian release and newest to the list is the Special Edition with four bonus tracks!)

Drown myself in Herbie Hancock.

Force someone… anyone… to go with me to the Natural History or Science or Victoria & Albert Museum, or all three. Hehe.

Get the ‘A Blossom Fell’ piano transcriptions printed out and perfect it by the end of the Christmas break!! If I’m not in my room, look for me in Ensemble Room 3 at the Blyth Music Centre… haha…

Make a trip to Kensington Chimes and browse music sheets to my heart’s content! (=

Build snowmen and snowpenguins if that’s even possible…

Have emo “Cheong-K” sessions with Zhon and Jin Rong upstairs!

Bake something other than moist chocolate cake….. *sheepishly*

Study Heat Transfer and Economics.

Go Cardiff to see my beloved Sook Meng!!!

She, by Elvis Costello

She
May be the face I can’t forget
A trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day.

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one’s allowed to see them when they cry
She may be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I’ll remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I’m alive
The one I’ll care for through the rough and ready years
Me I’ll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I’ve got to be
The meaning of my life is

She, she, she
______________________

Now tell me if you would not just swoon and DIE if a guy sang that last stanza for you. “The why and wherefore I’m alive” – I love that line. *sigh* Saw the movie for the second time (first complete time though) on Friday and have been ceaselessly trying to download songs from the soundtrack ever since. Lol.