emotional constipation

in these my final weeks in london it seems i have at last come a little closer to living with the kind of abandon that has been absent from my life all along. i’m not too sure what it is a manifestation of – the need to prove myself to myself, the realisation of the irreversibility of age and time, or a quiet denial masquerading as something else.

and then i have shoved into a corner the things that truly matter. unlike with packing away my belongings into boxes to be shipped back home, i fail to compartmentalise and organise. and strangely enough i am deriving some sort of comfort from this haphazard scheme of things. i suppose it clouds out like a smoke screen the things i’d rather not face.

~ by may on June 17, 2008.